 jay brannan was born under a
rock in the coldest part of the himalayas where he was raised by
trappist monks who taught him to maintain his body temperature without
the necessity of food and clothing through intense meditation and
really hard drinking. shortly after his first birthday, he suffered a
graphic and painful death to a hungry mountain lion who wasn't so good
at meditation and just needed a hearty snack.
it
wasn't long however before jay's indomitable spirit reappeared in
southeast texas to a family who actually wanted a girl. in many ways,
they got what they wanted, yet the compromise seemed to be much more
controversial than the original disappoinment. after years and years of
southern baptist immersion in texas, canada, and oklahoma, jay found
himself once again outside houston, TX, continuing in the public school
system (quite similar to cattle herding, state prisons, or perhaps even
the new york city healthcare system) and a conservative, repressive
society infiltrated by a mixture of religion, rebellion, used car lots,
and lots of barbecue (the latter being the most repulsive?).
by
1999, jay really threw a dildo in a small town's gears when he decided
that he hated high school so much that he would graduate in three
years. he then moved on to scarier territories by attending the
university of cincinnati's acting program where he was kicked out after
six months because they no longer needed his slave labor services to
build sets for the musical theatre and opera students. it was quite the
blessing in disguise, however. rather than transferring to another
school and wasting more time and money going to college for a degree
only slightly more useful than aromatherapy, he moved to palm springs,
CA, to live with a man he met on the internet.
obviously
that didn't last long.
in a
matter of months, jay found himself living in los angeles, CA, in a
tiny studio apartment off the sunset strip. what a star, huh? well,
eventually the bathroom of that studio fell through into the garage
below. so jay moved in with the guy he had been dating for a whole
month. i mean, the guy's roommate had moved out...the timing was
perfect, right?
right.
so after that, jay moved into another little apartment in hollywood
where he remained for about a year until moving to new york city where
he has currently resided for six years.
see
what happens when you make me talk about my past? if you think this bio
is long and boring, all the good stuff happened in between the lines.
oh shit, was i supposed to say something about music in here??
(photo: benjamin kelley)
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